What Tiger Woods really wanted to say to the world - BayernZone

**Drago** · 01-03-2010, 17:38

"Let me just say to all my fans that I feel sorry for everyone who criticized me for my extra-marital affairs. You must live a miserable existence if you have nothing better to do than read about my personal life in the tabloids. But I suppose I should provide an explanation about my behavior so that you will continue to buy the products I endorse.

So here goes. I am an average looking man of mixed racial descent. Like most men, I had trouble getting pussy before I became a famous multimillionaire. I did okay at Stanford because I was on the golf team, but the women there graded out with a “B” because they were leftovers that players on the football team didn’t want. Before that, I got nothing because I have a bland personality and big lips.

Then, I win a few golf tournaments and women are lining up at my door. Of course, I took advantage of my opportunities. These were women who wouldn’t give me the time of day if I sold insurance or worked on a used car lot. They wanted me so they could brag to their friends about having sex with a celebrity, while holding the belief that one day they would live a life of luxury as the wife of Tiger Woods. When that didn’t happen, they seized on an opportunity to sell their story to the tabloids, all the while looking the part of a woman scorned.

Now I want to discuss my wife. When I met Elin, she was just like the others, except she played the “hard-to-get” strategy that women often use to corral men. It worked. She had all the qualities I wanted in a woman: pretty face, nice tits, nice ass, and an inviting personality. We dated for a while, had wild sex, and we genuinely enjoyed other’s company. When I asked her to marry me, she accepted. Why wouldn't she? Only an idiot would say no to a lavish lifestyle that most people only dream about.

Our marriage was okay. We have two wonderful children and Elin is a good mother. But since she had those kids, she’s become a bitch, and doesn’t want to have sex very often. And, she won’t accompany me on road trips, except to the major championships. Unfortunately, my job requires that I travel to a different city every week where women nod approvingly at me where ever I go. Do you see the problem here?

To all the men out there: What would you have done in my shoes? Would you have said no to all the woman who lined up to meet you, especially after listening to your wife bitch at you over the telephone for not spending enough time at home with her and the kids? And to all the women: How many of you would have turned down an opportunity to spend a night with me, knowing that you could sell your story to a tabloid for 500K?

I feel bad about the potential damage my actions might cause my kids. As for Elin, I can think of at least 300 million reasons why she will be okay if we divorce and she is forced to survive on her own. And don’t forget that vast support network she will have after appearing on Oprah and The View.

As for me, I have paid dearly for my transgressions. I have lost millions and might lose custody of my children. Almost everyone who sees me takes great pleasure seeing me in pain.

The letters "Saint" or "St." do not precede my name. Your telling me it's O.K. to screw everything in sight and be president like Bill Clinton did, but you can't if you're a pro-golfer???

Did I become famous for being a model married man, or was it because I'm the best damn golfer in the world???

Now here I stand, while you sit there anxiously waiting to hear my heartfelt apology, when all I really want to tell you is “Fuck Off!”

Tomas · 01-03-2010, 20:00

Im so sick of hearing this bullshit. First off all its none of our damn business who he fucks. The only person he has to apologize to is his wife. Second, he isnt that important! Fuck, if Bill Clinton didnt feel the need to apologize for fucking a fat hump like Monica... I mean who really cares??

Scooter · 01-03-2010, 23:13

That's what he should have said. The biggest mistake he made though was getting married.

ps. have you guys seen the iphone app. tigertext

it's so stupid.

Tomas · 01-03-2010, 23:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter

That's what he should have said. The biggest mistake he made though was getting married.

ps. have you guys seen the iphone app. tigertext

it's so stupid.

they should make an app to show all the ugly... well, not-so-attractive women he slept with... especially that crack headed hooker porn star... jezus christ man WTF Tiger?! Horny and blind?!? Just proves that money cant buy good taste!

Filo · 02-03-2010, 04:21

Tiger shouldn't had got married. That proves also that:

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too!

By the way, you do know how this story is similar with Bayern:
In 2000, Stefan Effenberg had an affair with his college's (Thomas Strunz) wife Martha and eventually married her. Also, in a more recent event, we can see also Terry with Bridge's girlfriend.

Anyway, I agree with Tomas, what Tiger does in his private life is not of our business. Who are we to judge him? I don't approve the cheating on your wife issue, but still its his life! Let's focus on our life first and not others.

Tomas · 02-03-2010, 16:50

In the US there has been so many people (athelets, actors, evangelists) coming out and apologizing for this, that, and the other. IMO you arent that important and dont need to apologize to anyone except the person you wronged. Stop making it a bigger deal than it is. Other than that who really cares (I know I dont) so get on with what you do, acting, playing sports or whatever and shut the hell up!!!

I guess its not so much the 'apology' as it is all these other people who want their 15 minutes of fame. Once Tiger came out with this, a whole slew of women were just waiting for their chance... and THEN you know there will be a book deal for probably most of them AND including made for tv movies... this is the shit I hate most. Oh well Im dont with my rant. lol

**Drago** · 03-03-2010, 02:06

It is a load of shit but I posted the stuff he should have said, not his actual apology. It's pretty funny shit actually.

Tomas · 03-03-2010, 16:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drago

It is a load of shit but I posted the stuff he should have said, not his actual apology. It's pretty funny shit actually.

I, along with a whole load of other people, think that this apology was forced by the PGA. Which to me is complete bullshit. I mean when that other golfer a while back won the green jacket said that he was glad he won it instead of Tiger otherwise we would be eating fried chicken and watermelon! There was no press conference for an apology on that one! lol The things some people say when the mic is in front of them.

@ Drago, Tiger should have read what you wrote. At least it would have been something to write about!

**Drago** · 04-03-2010, 09:07

I didn't really follow the whole story after the first news broke. Did they post pictures of a few of the girls he slept with? were any of them very hot?

I will say one thing that I have been thinking about. It's really hard to be a great athlete without some good focus and concentration. How the hell did he pull it off with all this cheating and still keep focused on his game? I just don't understand how you can play at that level especially a game like golf which is all about concentration and put all that shit out your mind.

Tomas · 04-03-2010, 16:42

There were some magazines and television coverage of the women he slept with. Now Im not saying Tigers wife is ugly or unattractive. Shes ok. Ive seen better and Ive seen worse BUT IMO his wife was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY hotter then the women he slept with. Some were pretty fucking ugly.
There is some heavy cheating among the golf pros especially when they are on tour. If you want to lose half your stuff, cheating is a good way to do it I guess!

01-03-2010, 17:38	#1 (permalink)
Drago Administrator Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 66	What Tiger Woods really wanted to say to the world "Let me just say to all my fans that I feel sorry for everyone who criticized me for my extra-marital affairs. You must live a miserable existence if you have nothing better to do than read about my personal life in the tabloids. But I suppose I should provide an explanation about my behavior so that you will continue to buy the products I endorse. So here goes. I am an average looking man of mixed racial descent. Like most men, I had trouble getting pussy before I became a famous multimillionaire. I did okay at Stanford because I was on the golf team, but the women there graded out with a “B” because they were leftovers that players on the football team didn’t want. Before that, I got nothing because I have a bland personality and big lips. Then, I win a few golf tournaments and women are lining up at my door. Of course, I took advantage of my opportunities. These were women who wouldn’t give me the time of day if I sold insurance or worked on a used car lot. They wanted me so they could brag to their friends about having sex with a celebrity, while holding the belief that one day they would live a life of luxury as the wife of Tiger Woods. When that didn’t happen, they seized on an opportunity to sell their story to the tabloids, all the while looking the part of a woman scorned. Now I want to discuss my wife. When I met Elin, she was just like the others, except she played the “hard-to-get” strategy that women often use to corral men. It worked. She had all the qualities I wanted in a woman: pretty face, nice tits, nice ass, and an inviting personality. We dated for a while, had wild sex, and we genuinely enjoyed other’s company. When I asked her to marry me, she accepted. Why wouldn't she? Only an idiot would say no to a lavish lifestyle that most people only dream about. Our marriage was okay. We have two wonderful children and Elin is a good mother. But since she had those kids, she’s become a bitch, and doesn’t want to have sex very often. And, she won’t accompany me on road trips, except to the major championships. Unfortunately, my job requires that I travel to a different city every week where women nod approvingly at me where ever I go. Do you see the problem here? To all the men out there: What would you have done in my shoes? Would you have said no to all the woman who lined up to meet you, especially after listening to your wife bitch at you over the telephone for not spending enough time at home with her and the kids? And to all the women: How many of you would have turned down an opportunity to spend a night with me, knowing that you could sell your story to a tabloid for 500K? I feel bad about the potential damage my actions might cause my kids. As for Elin, I can think of at least 300 million reasons why she will be okay if we divorce and she is forced to survive on her own. And don’t forget that vast support network she will have after appearing on Oprah and The View. As for me, I have paid dearly for my transgressions. I have lost millions and might lose custody of my children. Almost everyone who sees me takes great pleasure seeing me in pain. The letters "Saint" or "St." do not precede my name. Your telling me it's O.K. to screw everything in sight and be president like Bill Clinton did, but you can't if you're a pro-golfer??? Did I become famous for being a model married man, or was it because I'm the best damn golfer in the world??? Now here I stand, while you sit there anxiously waiting to hear my heartfelt apology, when all I really want to tell you is “Fuck Off!”
21

02-03-2010, 04:21	#5 (permalink)
Filo Südkurve München Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 2,345	Tiger shouldn't had got married. That proves also that: Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too! By the way, you do know how this story is similar with Bayern: In 2000, Stefan Effenberg had an affair with his college's (Thomas Strunz) wife Martha and eventually married her. Also, in a more recent event, we can see also Terry with Bridge's girlfriend. Anyway, I agree with Tomas, what Tiger does in his private life is not of our business. Who are we to judge him? I don't approve the cheating on your wife issue, but still its his life! Let's focus on our life first and not others.
26

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01-03-2010, 20:00	#2 (permalink)
Tomas BZ Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Posts: 876	Im so sick of hearing this bullshit. First off all its none of our damn business who he fucks. The only person he has to apologize to is his wife. Second, he isnt that important! Fuck, if Bill Clinton didnt feel the need to apologize for fucking a fat hump like Monica... I mean who really cares??
13

01-03-2010, 23:13	#3 (permalink)
Scooter . Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Albania Posts: 766	That's what he should have said. The biggest mistake he made though was getting married. ps. have you guys seen the iphone app. tigertext it's so stupid.

02-03-2010, 16:50	#6 (permalink)
Tomas BZ Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Posts: 876	In the US there has been so many people (athelets, actors, evangelists) coming out and apologizing for this, that, and the other. IMO you arent that important and dont need to apologize to anyone except the person you wronged. Stop making it a bigger deal than it is. Other than that who really cares (I know I dont) so get on with what you do, acting, playing sports or whatever and shut the hell up!!! I guess its not so much the 'apology' as it is all these other people who want their 15 minutes of fame. Once Tiger came out with this, a whole slew of women were just waiting for their chance... and THEN you know there will be a book deal for probably most of them AND including made for tv movies... this is the shit I hate most. Oh well Im dont with my rant. lol
13

03-03-2010, 02:06	#7 (permalink)
Drago Administrator Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 66	It is a load of shit but I posted the stuff he should have said, not his actual apology. It's pretty funny shit actually.
21

04-03-2010, 09:07	#9 (permalink)
Drago Administrator Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 66	I didn't really follow the whole story after the first news broke. Did they post pictures of a few of the girls he slept with? were any of them very hot? I will say one thing that I have been thinking about. It's really hard to be a great athlete without some good focus and concentration. How the hell did he pull it off with all this cheating and still keep focused on his game? I just don't understand how you can play at that level especially a game like golf which is all about concentration and put all that shit out your mind.
21

04-03-2010, 16:42	#10 (permalink)
Tomas BZ Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Posts: 876	There were some magazines and television coverage of the women he slept with. Now Im not saying Tigers wife is ugly or unattractive. Shes ok. Ive seen better and Ive seen worse BUT IMO his wife was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY hotter then the women he slept with. Some were pretty fucking ugly. There is some heavy cheating among the golf pros especially when they are on tour. If you want to lose half your stuff, cheating is a good way to do it I guess!
13